Where Did I Go?

Hey readers. Whether you are someone who has followed my blog from the beginning, or this is your first time, I’m so glad that you decided to take five minutes out of your day to read something that a teenage (almost adult) girl wrote somewhere.

You may have noticed that I have appeared to drop off the face of the planet. For the past 6 months or so, I have stopped writing and posting anything on the Simply Smiles blog. I would like to thank my readers who have continued to put counts on my posts and keep the blog up and running. ❤ Basically the last 6 months have been a crazy time. And I feel like I owe you an explanation.

I didn’t just withdraw from this blog, but I seemed to withdraw from life. I stopped filming videos for my YouTube channel, I gave up on the things I liked to do. I stopped pushing myself to learn guitar and I begrudgingly pushed myself out of bed every morning to go to classes and work. I even pushed away a lot of my friends, and the ones I didn’t push away… well, I kept them at a distance. Needless to say, it was a pretty tough time. I went through therapy, in and out of doctors offices, counselling sessions, medication. It was a roller-coaster to say the least and it felt like I had went to the sun three times and back again.

And it’s insane, because how could someone who writes a motivational blog be so lost and need so much motivation herself? Don’t ask me. It’s so easy for me to pull out my heart and give you all my love, care, and support. But I couldn’t do that for me. I can write about 10 reasons to keep holding on, but the truth is, I couldn’t follow that advice myself.

Honestly, I’m still not through that time of life right now. I’m still not better. I still feel like crawling into bed sometimes and never coming out. I still feel like I’m worthless sometimes, a failure; I still am too hard on myself about my looks and my grades but through all of this I’m still me. I’m still the person that I was a year ago and I will continue to be that person. Because the thought that keeps me alive and strong is what I have around me. I have great friends who care about me, I have an extremely loving boyfriend by my side, and I have family to support me. I have a purpose. I will go to bed every night and gladly wake up again in the morning if it means that somewhere, somehow in the world, I have positively affected someone.

I’m not going to lie. It’s not easy. But if I can get through it, then you can too. You can get through anything that you want to, and you are never alone on anything. I was there. I’m still here, and I always will be.

So keep at your beautiful lives readers, and keep smiling. 🙂

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